5 Ways to Approach Someone on an Online Dating Website



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You just joined an online dating website about a month ago and have seen some people you’re interested in, but you haven’t contacted anybody just yet. Now what? You could wait until somebody gets in touch with you (which could be months from now) or you could gather enough courage to contact the people that strike your fancy. After all, what is there to lose? If they’re not interested, they simply won’t respond! But to ensure that all of your attempts aren’t made in vain, keep these 5 pointers in mind. These tips will help to increase the chance that you receive a response.

1. Send an email and talk about your common interests.

On online dating websites, you have the option to email, instant message, or ‘wink’/ ‘smile’ at someone. The best way to contact someone you’re interested in for the first time is via email. Winking or smiling at someone lets them know that they piqued your interest, but it’s much harder to get a response since it’s very impersonal. Instant messaging is awkward until you actually get to know the other person a little bit, so the best place to start is email.

Study the other person’s profile and in your email, write about the interests you share to break the ice. Don’t start your email by telling the other person how sexy he/she is because that’s a surefire way to be ignored! No one who’s interested in finding a significant other is going to take you seriously if you comment on his/her physical appearance from the get-go… unless you’re using Adult Friend Finder. ;)

2. Run your message through grammar and spell check

Are you a terrible speller? If your writing makes you sound highly edumacated, Microsoft Word’s grammar and spell check is your BFF. There’s nothing more off-putting than someone who sends you an email that looks like this:


I wuz lookin at yer profile and I thought u wuz bootiful. Pleeze call me when u get duh chance. 569-4930.”

Also, avoid using internet shorthand because it’ll make you look lazy. Write in clear, proper English. Believe me – do that alone and you’ll stand out!

3. Keep it simple and stay positive

Don’t write lengthy emails that are longer than a Blockbuster script. Keep your emails short, simple, and to the point. Avoid straying too far from the basics. Nobody wants to hear about your Aunt Bertha’s brain tumor or the fact that your ex cheated on you and left you for a 49 year old cougar in your first email to them. So, don’t get too personal because it will send people running in the other direction. Stay positive and friendly! Just give a brief overview of your interests, and for goodness sake, be interesting.

4. Make sure to include pictures of yourself in different contexts on your profile

Before sending your first email, make sure there is more than just a picture of your torso or silhouette on your profile. If you can’t show people what you look like from different angles, they’re going to wonder what you’re hiding! Most people you email will take a look at your profile and photos before responding, so you need to put your best foot forward with a set of eye-catching, attractive pictures.

5. Ask questions to get the conversation going

Give the other person a reason to write back; ask him/her questions so you can get the conversation going and keep it going! Try to ask questions about his/her interests, and avoid asking questions that are highly personal in nature. Don’t make the person feel like they’re being interrogated.

Now, it’s your turn. What have you found gets a good response when you contact people for the first time via online dating websites?